“Israel’s weary wanderings were all over, and the promised rest was attained.” — CH Spurgeon
Due to a couple of unforeseen emotional crisis’ I have not really been able to stay on top of my game this weekend, but that has not stopped the Vancouver Canucks from staying on top of theirs.
The only really interesting thing about our last game was that afterward pundits claimed it was not really a good game, but it was an exciting one. Which is sort of like saying, “well, I got laid, but it wasn’t very good sex.” For the disinclined I suppose everything can have it’s shortcomings, what I saw on Saturday night was four rolling lines, a lethal power-play and timely saves by the 10 Million Dollar Man. Sure Lou let in four goals, but he stopped the ones that counted bitches.
It was said in the off-season that our team was good on paper, but with this latest six-game win streak the paper feels a lot more like ice these days. This five-game road trip East will really test the mettle of our troops, but the emotional purgatory Canuck fans experience season-after-season may cease if they can prove they are no flash in the pan. That means wins.
That means no less then a President’s Trophy.
That means, you know, a ring and a silver Chalice.
–Joseph F. Delamar
“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” — Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator)
Yesterday I met Alex Edler in the elevator. It’s always a little awkward meeting famous people in elevators. You know them. They don’t know you. They know that you know them. Typical celebrity-in-elevator type neurosis. So I said something stupid to the effect of, “so…gonna destroy New Jersey tomorrow or what?” He nodded politely and replied, “That is the plan,” in his Northern Swedish accent. And that was that. No invitations to dinner with him and his puppies. No complimentary box tickets. No new best friend (your position is secure for now Clayton). It did get me thinking, however, as I watched the Canucks shill the Devils out of two points and Edler was handed the third-star-of-the-game: did I help the Canucks win the game?
When I was a child I used to think, coming from a solipsistic perspective, that things didn’t happen when I wasn’t there. People didn’t go to parties unless I was at the party. People didn’t have sex unless I was having sex with them. The Taj Mahal didn’t exist unless I was standing in front of it. That sort of self-contained-universe-shit. So as Edler was blocking shots and taking hits to make plays I wondered aloud whether our chance encounter had any baring on the outcome of tonight’s game. Like maybe he drove more carefully to the rink tonight and DIDN’T die in an auto wreck (thinking about his new buddy perhaps?). Maybe he chewed his food extra careful and DIDN’T choke on a chicken bone. I like to think (lately) that when I am present Canucks don’t die horrible deaths before games. And when Canucks are gettin’ busy livin’, they are gettin’ busy winnin’. (God I need to go to bed).
Anyhow, this epistemological tangent can only go so far, slumber awaits. But before I rest my weary head on the inevitable, I will say that tonight’s match wasn’t great for a host of reasons, most of it pedantic. They got scoring from all three lines that are suppose to score. They got goal-tending from the 10 Million Dollar Man that resulted in shutout. And they got a little dirt from the fourth line. But, alas, it was boring. Even the much anticipated Olympic goalie match-up played shotgun to a low-scoring checking affair that saw the Devil’s lose to their own game. Drifting in and out of consciousness it had me mostly flying across the GVRD in a magic elevator, just me and my new friend: Alexander Edler.
–Joseph F. Delamar
Editors note: this article was inspired solely on the authors personal encounter with Alexander Edler and the manner of articulation commonly referred to as — alliteration.