Issue #75 — Sorrows Of Week One
“Playing with them is like going on a double-date with Hugh Hefner. And Hef lined up the girls.” –Iain MacIntyre on how easy it is to score goals while playing with the Sedins.
There once was a blue collar man. He had a blue collar wife and a blue collar life. He worked very hard at his blue collar job in order to make provisions for his blue collar family. His blue collar family had high expectations. They depended on him. They demanded him to perform.
Every night after performing a variety of blue collar tasks he would get into his blue collar bed and make love to his blue collar wife. Every so often the blue collar man would fall asleep while making love to his blue collar wife. He would be so exhausted from living his blue collar life and providing for his blue collar family and constantly telling his blue collar wife she is not fat (she inevitably gains 10 pounds one week before she menstruates but he never says a word). He is so exhausted from reading his blue collar kids to sleep and telling them he loves them (despite the fact that one of them is her’s from a previous relationship and quite frankly he is a shitty kid with zero blue collar hope for his blue collar future). He does his blue collar best.
The blue collar man puts up with a lot from his blue collar family and when he gets home he is blue collar tired. The blue collar man falls asleep inside his blue collar wife because he is so exhausted from his blue collar life. The blue collar wife is pissed. But she gets over it because he is a man, erections are a billion dollar-a-year industry. The end.
The moral of the story: Canucks fans are a little like that blue collar wife. One would think after this recent road trip South and a long summer of excruciating expectations (not to mention unconsumated erections), we would just let the poor man sleep.
We will be fine.
i like it
as if!