Issue #67 — A Tail of Two Toms
- Tom Larscheid and another dude.
It was announced the other day that long time Canucks radio color-commentator, Tom Larscheid, would retire. He will be replaced by Deutsche Eishockey Liga stalwart, Dave Tomlinson. There seems to be evidence that Larscheid was given the slip for a younger, prettier (imagine Tomlinson’s blue eyes piercing through your radio) model.
Larscheid was a goof, albeit a loveable one. Tomlinson may be Ferraro-lite, but he still has this up on the former Whale:
The former Alder Mannheim Eagle frozen in time right before he is sent to Germany.
He won a number of championships and accolades during his hockey career in Europe, but you know that in his heart-of-hearts he was thinking the whole time, “one day I’m gonna go home, usurp a local media legend, then call the color on local radio when the hometeam wins a Stanley Cup in their 40th season in the NHL.” It brings a new meaning to hockey cliche No. 36 – great vision for the ice.
Larchaid had a fine run and some memorable quotes and antics and but he was just another cog in the loser wheel this city has been spinning for a long time. Out with the old and in with the…let’s see those retro jerseys again:
Okay, now I have the metaphysical grip to win a Stanley Cup.
Oh, and who gives a holy shit who calls the shots when/if the Canucks ever manage to win. They win. Right? So fuck you bloggers, eh. I’m tired and I’m now going to bed.