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Archive for March, 2010

Issue #65 — Dog Days

March 31st, 2010 Joe Tory No comments

Dave Tippet walked into a cesspool this fall when he was handed the reigns of a team in chaos on and off the ice. There was no assurance that the team would even be in Phoenix at the start of the season, never mind have a chance to make the playoffs for the first time in eight campaigns.

Then The Great One stepped down as coach of Coyotes (perhaps the most astute assist of his storied career) and Tippet took over the fledgling team.

The desert dogs have stormed through the regular season collecting 100 point so far this year (with 5 in hand) and now sit on the brink of overtaking the Sharks for the Pacific Division title.

Not bad for an NHL team owned by the other 29 NHL teams.

Despite the conflict of interest the Coyotes walked into GM place with a 47-23-6 record and six point ahead of the Canucks in the Western Conference.

The Canucks made last nights game look easy. Henrik collected three more points and Luongo made 32 saves for a decisive 4-1 victory. Burrows scored again to increase his season total to 35 goals

The team looked good. Kesler was given a game misconduct for a questionable boarding call Derek Morris. These calls are tough and you have to give the referee some grace, especially when it comes to head shots.

I don’t know. All is well.

Next Up — Los Angeles

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Issue #63 — Warrior-poet

March 26th, 2010 Joe Tory No comments

blood

I got hit in the head with a puck yesterday.

My face split open, the bone above my eye was exposed, blood pooled around my head like an ever expanding circle of crimson.

It was the best feeling ever.

I feel like a warrior-poet every time I strap on the pads and hit the ice. Like some kind of futuristic winter gladiator.

I told the guy beside me on the bus the other day, “we need a war, our young men are bored, they have nothing to do.”

“Well, they’re killing each other anyways,” we replied.

“Exactly.”

At the end of the day Tampa Bay has two top-10 point producers in the league yet they sit in 11th in the East.

My question is: what is Vancouver gonna do with our Art Ross winner and Gold Medal winner in this rust-age of parity?

Next Up — San Jose

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Issue #63 — Vancouverville

March 24th, 2010 Joe Tory No comments

I’m fuckin tired of the Canucks.  Or at least I’m tired of watching them play hockey on television.

From now on I’m either watching them live or I’m playing hockey myself. No more of this armchair GM bullshit.

Luongo couldn’t stop a beach ball filled with pink butterflies last night, but Kesler played his guts out and they still lost to the lowly Oil. I don’t get this team anymore.

Lou is the “best” goalie in the league but he loses to the worst team in the league. In games where it is his job to score at least 3 points, Henrik only gets 1. I’m just sayin’. There are some problems here and if they are not fixed pronto, another division title is not gonna mean shit when we get another shellacking in the second round of the playoffs.

It has nothing to do with the talent on this team. I think it has to do with the TEAM for this team. As gay as it sounds, if they don’t work and play together as a team, they are going to lose like individuals and suffer the agony alone.

It was still pretty entertaining to watch the Canucks lose like only Canucks lose. I guess that’s how we have fun here in Vancouverville –  by watching the subtly of defeat in our favorite losers.

Next Up — Anaheim

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Issue #62 – Thank You Burke

March 23rd, 2010 Joe Tory No comments

“Basically if you can watch 50 guys skating around a rink and you can pick who can play, you can be a GM in this league” – Glen Sather

Earlier in the season I predicted that if Vancouver had any shot in the post-season they would need at least one 90+ point performer. I also predicted that that performer would be Henrik. Lo-and-behold, I looked at the scoring leaders this morning and there sits Hank, two points back of Ovechkin with 95 tallies.

That’s impressive. (Not to mention, Henrik is having a stellar year too.)

It takes me back to the draft of 1999 (in GM Place) when Brian Burke pulled off the “Sedin Miracle” and took the ginger pair 2nd and 3rd respectively. Looking back it was a skilled move by an up-and-coming GM who has been the most prominent front-office tactician in the NHL this past decade.

Vancouver let him go, but Gillis managed to convince the twins to stick around.

When I heard that Brian Burke’s son was been killed a few months back I felt terrible for the guy. Paired with the defeat of his Team USA last month at the hands of Team Canada (in GM Place no less) it has not been a good couple months for the Boston born blowhard. But that doesn’t take away from the debt Vancouver fans still owe the man.

So Thanks Brian Burke, we owe you.

If Henrik Sedin is hoisting a Conn Smyth Trophy along with a Stanley Cup this spring it will be, in part,  owing to the genius of Brian.

Next Up — Edmonton

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